Which Home Alone child star should everyone blame if Trump is re-elected? | Stewart Lee

Contributing sentiments towards policy:

67% : Trump, with a presence of mind Biden might have benefited from when trying to remember the name of the president of Ukraine, struggled to his feet and, in a spirit of peace and reconciliation, shouted: "Fight!
41% : And Trump's fandom for fossil fuels will hasten the inevitable extinction of all life on Earth, the only positive being that he may yet see his Scottish golf courses reclaimed by rising seas.
36% : And the idea of replacing Trump himself with Trump's own ear is, at this stage, neither ear nor there.
36% : Rather than risking the future on the policymaking of Trump's unpredictable ear, the precise political leanings of which remain ill-defined at best, would it be better to go further back in time and stop the rise of Trump sooner?
32% : And would an America governed by a small severed slice of Trump's ear have offered the world a more secure future than an America governed by Trump, or an America governed by Biden?
32% : Evangelical Christian America believes their selectively myopic deity actually intervened to save Trump from the gunman, while leaving a heroic volunteer firefighter to take the bullet.
30% : Trump's presidency will, however, strengthen ties between Trump and the Clacton constituency of his right-hand man Nigel Farage, which is poised to be bulldozed and made into a private golf course-cum-leisure facility-cum-seaside stolen document storage unit.
30% : And if an ear had, as Trump did, repeatedly socialised with the unsavoury sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and his young friends, it is unlikely it would have been able to do anything inappropriate, due to its being an ear.
27% : But what if it had been Trump himself who had been shot away, and only Trump's ear fragment had been saved by security?
27% : And would it be ethical to travel back in time and carry out an attack on Trump that ensured future government by Trump's ear alone?
22% : But the attempted assassination of Trump and its butterfly flap consequences are no joke.
21% : The American Christian right believes that Trump, despite his obvious moral corruption, is a massive tool of a God bent on shaping America into their own twisted theocracy.
17% : Perhaps, when he encountered Trump in Home Alone 2, Macaulay Culkin could have comforted the troubled billionaire with the same innocent friendship he gave to the sad dancer Michael Jackson, on the proviso that Trump abandon political ambition.

*Our bias meter rating uses data science including sentiment analysis, machine learning and our proprietary algorithm for determining biases in news articles. Bias scores are on a scale of -100% to 100% with higher negative scores being more liberal and higher positive scores being more conservative, and 0% being neutral. The rating is an independent analysis and is not affiliated nor sponsored by the news source or any other organization.